Can You Be Friends With Your Ex Girlfriend?

Being friends with your ex might seem simple at first. After all, you know each other well. You have common interests, and share many memories. Such a friendship might be easy at first, but in the long run, you'll start seeing the difficulties that arise when two people who used to date try to remain friendly with each other. Even if you can get a handle on the internal issues of your friendship, there will always be external forces trying to destroy it from the outside. It's tough to stay friends after the two of you have known each other on such intimate levels.
The following issues will inevitably arise when you try to remain friends with your ex, after breaking up:
You're in Still Love With Your Ex Girlfriend - No matter what happened to end your relationship, the breakup had to initially be someone's idea. One of you got dumped, and the other was the dumpee. If you were the one who got the short end of the stick, you could easily still be in love with your ex. Staying close with her just because she said "let's be friends" might've seemed like a great option for keeping her around when you really weren't ready to let her go. Waiting and hoping that your friendship will develop back into a romance is never a good idea, and will only serve to hurt your feelings. If you're looking to get back together with your ex, you need to take active steps toward winning her back... not sitting around in a friendship role waiting for that magic moment. Such a moment only comes in the movies.
Your Ex Still Loves You - If it was your girlfriend who got let go, she's going to still have strong feelings for you. Any girl that remains friends with you after you dump her is trying to rebuild the relationship the two of you once had. She's crossing her fingers and hoping you come back to her. Every word you say, every move you make... she's analyzing these things in hopes of seeing the sparks of romance. She might seem friendly, happy, and totally cool - but over time she's expecting something to happen. If and when it doesn't, she's going to begin to resent you for it.
You Begin Dating Again - No matter how great your post-breakup friendship seems to be going, it's going to shatter the moment you tell your new "friend" that you've started dating another girl. She's going to smile and act happy, wish you the best, and generally ham up that friendship role. But inside she's going to be insanely jealous, and wanting you to fail. As you start spending more time with this girl and less time with her, she'll feel rejected and hurt. To top it off, your new girlfriend isn't going to be too happy when you announce that you're still friends with your ex. Think she wants you hanging out with a girl you slept with and had an intimate history with? Of course not. Which is why you'll either lie to her and keep your friendship on the sly, or you'll do it openly and sabotage your chances with your new girlfriend.
Your Ex Girlfriend Is Seeing Another Guy - The opposite of the above situation is even worse, for you anyway. The happy friendship you've established with your exgirlfriend will come to an abrupt halt the second she's involved with another man. As she starts spending time with him she'll begin ditching you almost completely. Jealously will follow, either because you still love her or because you miss seeing her... or even both. And will she tell her new man that she's good friends with you, a guy she dated and slept with dozens of times? Probably not. Because if she did, this guy would keep her as far away from you as possible, and give you dirty looks every time you were around each other. This leads to secrets, more jealousy, and a lot of awkwardness. All of these things will pick away at the friendship.
You Start Sleeping With Your Ex - It doesn't matter which of you initiates it, the moment you take your friendship to an intimate level again you've complicated things ten times as much. Sex with your exgirlfriend will be exciting and fun, and the two of you will have a great time... for a while, anyway. But eventually feelings will rise to the surface that will cause one of you to resent the other. Why? Because no matter how equal or mutual you think your break up was, one of you will want something more than friendship. One of you felt slighted when it came to breaking up, and that person still wanted the relationship to continue. Whether it's you or her, one of you will eventually feel used and this will damage the friendship. And what happens when one or both of you starts dating again? Can you suddenly stop the sex and continue the friendship? Or will you keep that part of your relationship going, in secret?
The question of can you be friends with your ex girlfriend is a tough one, but ultimately the answer has to be no. You can't stay friendly with someone you still love... or who still loves you. Be honest with yourself. If you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, don't use friendship as an excuse to stick around - or as a tool to break your way back into her heart. Reject the friendship path and try for love again. You may have to risk being hurt, but trying to fix your break up is always better than pretending to be friends. If you really want your ex back in your arms again, you have to aim for something more